Everyone Is Not Equal, But Opportunities Are
Posted on September 23, 2006
Equality sounds good, but it may be the most misused word in America today. I rarely get through a day without reading or hearing about someone’s struggle for equality; if it’s not gender or racial equality, its sexual orientation, employment and a myriad of other types of equalities. The discussions always center on the concept that everyone should be equal. The proponents want laws passed to insure equality for all, but I learned at a very young age, that everyone is not equal, but opportunities are.
When I was just eight years old, my best friend’s parents bought him a new bicycle. When I asked my mother if I could have one, she told me that she couldn’t afford it. That was my first exposure to the fallacy of equality. As much as I may have wished it; my friend and I were not equal. His parents could afford to buy him a bicycle; mine couldn’t afford one for me.
I grew up in the small coal mining town of War, West Virginia in the 1950s. Life was hard back then. We struggled to get by on a single income and a small one at that. My mother often did sewing for people to make a little extra money. She wasn’t just putting me off; she really couldn’t afford to buy me a bicycle. She had three other children in addition to me to feed and clothe. My friend was an only child whose parents owned a successful store in town. They had much more than we did.
Oh sure, I could have whined and complained about it, but that wouldn’t have changed anything. There weren’t any government programs that would give me a bicycle, so I had to face the reality that economically I was not equal to my friend. I could have let jealousy and envy take over and destroy our friendship, but thank the good Lord I wasn’t made that way.
The outcome of this incident redirected my life in a way that has served me well ever since. With my head hanging down and disappointment plainly showing on my face, my mother put her arms around me, gave me a big hug, and she told me something that has guided my life to this very day. She said, “If you want a bicycle badly enough, you will find a way to get one.” The key word in this statement was “you.” My mother is not an educated woman and certainly not a philosopher, but in her own simple way, by telling me I would find a way, she empowered me to look inside myself to solve my own problems rather than wasting time complaining and waiting for someone else to do it for me.
The full story is much too long for this space, so I’ll summarize by telling you that I got that bicycle and I got it through my own efforts and ingenuity. Although it cost only $34, that was a nearly impossible amount for an eight year old to earn in War, West Virginia in the 1950s. I mention “earn,” because I never received an allowance during my entire childhood. The full story is chronicled in my book Weekend Millionaire Mindset, which is available in bookstores everywhere.
I mention this story, because it strikes at the heart of many of the equality issues discussed today. We have an ever growing segment of the population who believe that equality means that everyone should have equal amounts of whatever life has to offer. Nothing could be further from the truth.
If you strive to exist, that’s about all you’ll do. If you become jealous and envy the people around you who have more than you do, chances are you’ll never have what they have. If you finish school with a good education, but a bad attitude, you’ll probably wind up with a job you hate and an income that matches it. Life is not always fair. Success, especially financial success, doesn’t come easy.
Here’s a tip! That message my mother gave me when I was a child is still valid today; if you want something badly enough, you’ll find a way to get it, but the tip is you have to do your part.
Back to the bicycle! Although I was only eight years old at the time, my desire for a bicycle was so strong that I was willing to do almost anything to get one. Other kids laughed at me as I collected scrap iron to sell at a local junkyard, collected bottles to redeem for the returnable deposits and picked up lumps of coal along the railroad tracks to fill bags I could sell for a nickel each. My desire was so strong I could hardly wait for the next day so I could go back to work making money to get a new bicycle. One day I discovered an ad to sell Grit newspapers and with a suggestion from my favorite elementary school teacher I started a paper route that eventually enabled me to get that new bike. With perseverance and determination I was able to prove to my friend’s mother I could earn enough money that she agreed to sell me a new bicycle just like his and let me pay for it over time.
That might not sound like a big deal in today’s adult world of high finance, but the lesson it taught me has served me well. I learned that if I truly want something badly enough, I will find a way to get it. What a gift it would be if everyone could develop this mindset and focus on doing what it takes to get the things they want in life instead of making excuses and complaining about what they don’t have. Of course, that might upset the debate on politically correct equality.
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