Make Friends With Successful People
Posted on September 15, 2006
I was a young man, just 20 years old when I first tasted the bitterness of suddenly losing my source of income. Today we call it being down-sized, but back then was simply getting laid off. We weren’t so politically correct in those days! But, no matter what you call it, suddenly losing your job and having bills pour in with no income to pay them created a situation that was just as scary back then as it is now. It was from this experience that I learned one of the most valuable lessons of my life.
I had no money in savings, but I had rent, car payments, and credit card bills to pay plus another very important problem; I had to eat. The thought of not being able to take care of myself and my family could have easily sent me into the downward spiral of self pity and dependence that many people find themselves in today. The few dollars I received in severance pay would certainly not go far, but I grew up during a time when pride meant something. Although unemployment compensation was available, my pride would never have let me draw it. I was brought up believing that people should take care of themselves.
Like many people in similar situations, I turned to others for advice. Several of my friends had also been laid off during the preceding weeks, so I started calling and visiting them to see how they were doing. It was one of the most depressing things I’ve ever done. One after another, relayed their frustrations with being unable to find work, exhausting their savings, going into debt, having to sell possessions to get grocery money and yes, going on welfare. None of these options were the least bit attractive to me. I felt like I was hanging out with a bunch of whining doom and gloom merchants.
At this point, I want you to understand that I didn’t grow like most young people. I was the product of a broken home and as a child lived in a situation that caused me to strike out on my own at the tender age of fifteen. Problems and difficulties didn’t scare me because they had been common occurrences for me. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I wasn’t getting any positive feedback from these so called friends who seemed to be more interested in finding sympathy than they were in solving problems. This experience taught me that everyone has problems, but it is up to each of us individually to find our own solutions.
Here’s a tip! We’ve all heard the saying, “When life deals you a lemon, make lemonade out of it.” Well, it’s not always that simple. What’s really important is when life deals you a lemon; don’t start looking for others who also got a lemon so you can squeeze juice together and have a pity party. The world is full of successful people and most of them have been dealt their share of lemons. If you make friends with successful people, they will help you turn your lemons into lemonade. The truly successful people I’ve met in my life are more than happy to share their stories about how they converted obstacles and demons into successes.
One of the biggest misconceptions that ordinary working people have is thinking that successful people are difficult to approach and unwilling to share. Quite the contrary! From experience, I have leaned that people who rise up through the ranks to become financially independent are very eager to help anyone who truly wants to help him or herself. I think one thing that contributes to this misconception is that successful people seem to have an inherent ability to recognize the difference between those looking for a hand up and those looking for a handout. Those who have pulled themselves up by the bootstraps and overcome obstacles and setbacks to achieve financial independence aren’t usually very sympathetic toward able bodied people who sit around with an “Oh woe is me!” attitude complaining about how no one will help them.
If you approach successful people with a positive attitude and an open mind, you will get all the help you need to improve your life. In the weeks following the loss of my job, I experienced another interesting phenomenon. The more successful the people were that I associated with, the less time my former coworkers wanted to spend with me. The more I ideas I picked up by being around these people, the more critical of them my friends became. It soon became obvious that many of the people I thought were friends were actually more interested in holding me back than they were in seeing me move forward. If people wanting to better themselves aren’t careful, jealousy and envy can be very detrimental to their future success. In my case, I had to break some ties in order to move forward, but with each step up I learned the most important lesson of all.
Successful people don’t like to be pumped for information; they like to give it at their own pace. Making friends with successful people puts you in the unique position of being there when they’re ready to share. As the old saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Are you preparing yourself? Are you opening your mind to new ideas? Are you building self esteem by surrounding yourself with positive people, or are you destroying it by hanging out with those who will only hold you back? Getting in the right frame of mind is the key to improving your finances, as well as most other aspects of life. You’ll know when you’re ready because that’s when you’ll find doors beginning to open for you.
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